Fickle Now Seems To Be The New Essential

Once upon a time I posted to my blog pretty much on a daily basis – sometimes even more often. I also used to check the blogs I liked the best several times a day. Now it all seems to me to be changing and I’m not alone in that.

Recently, as I’ve visited other blogs in my blog-roll, it appears that fewer and fewer are posting on a regular basis. So, apart from the odd half dozen to whom I can remain faithful, I’m going to have to search out new people to add to my list. Consequently, since I seem to often enjoy those sites written by female bloggers, that means I’m going to be off seeking new women to follow around. At my time of life! I ask you! Is it too much to ask for a little constancy in these modern, fickle times of ours?

Of the eighty or ninety blogs I once followed diligently via RSS, about a third have disappeared altogether over time and less and less post regularly. What do you think has changed? Is it now essential to be fickle and seek out new places to find interest? With the increase in so called online dating, which should often in reality now be called online hooking up for the night, so it appears that everything else has gone the same way too and my impression is that the only current constant is the steadily decreasing value of fidelity, be it with respect to matters relating to sex, friendship, or any other sort of relationship.

What is changing? Is the instant gratification offered by the internet and buying online now permeating all aspects of modern life?

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So, How Do You Like It?

What? Sex of course! Ah, no! Not in that sort of detail! Too much information! I’m referring to the written sort…

Anyway, the reason I ask is that I’m a guy and I’ve been around the block a few times – well, a lot of times – so I’m pretty uninhibited and I kind of feel that anything consenting adults enjoy doing privately with each other is their business and not my concern – except in my stories, of course, and that’s the point. Myself, I’ve certainly sometimes enjoyed some pornography and I can find it quite… er… interesting. However, whilst porn doesn’t particularly shock or disgust me (though I think some of it can be pretty gross) and I understand the common male attitudes to it, I do usually get quite quickly bored by it and, for me, it’s written erotica that is much more exciting – especially the very sexy, story driven stuff.

Now, additionally, the majority of my readers seem to be women (as far as I can tell) – at least, those who comment are generally of the female persuasion. As a result, I thought I’d see how many of you would complete a simple, light-hearted poll and provide a little more info about your likes and dislikes regarding erotic moments on the written page.

Go on. I promise I won’t tell – just tick as many of the choices as you feel are appropriate to you…

Of course, the poll is just for fun and it’s naturally anonymous – unless you want to tell me more in comments below, but that’ll be our secret, won’t it? Oh and I promise I’ll do my best to protect your identity when it appears in the next book or short story…

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I Know It’s Fantasy

…or fiction, or part fiction and part reality, or whatever, but a post on Red Mojo Mama’s blog was on a subject that I tend to mention from time to time – all right then, it’s something I keep banging on about ad nauseam.

The excellent and humorous post (which you can read in full here) was a record of the usual highly entertaining conversation between her fictional character and herself, but in spite of the charming tone of the piece (just like most of her writings), she was making what I think is a very serious point.

I’ve often wondered exactly why it is that (as a generality) women do seem to “need” a man or significant other in their lives in order to somehow feel complete, or they believe that they (or others) should do so. I have made the point in the past that many a female’s bio is written along the lines of, “I’m a wife, mother, sister. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful son/daughter/both. I live in Bogtown USA (or wherever)… oh and by the way I’m an author/rocket scientist/brain surgeon, etc.”

Why do women do that? Why is it not sufficient and far more important to say something more like, “I’m me. I’m wonderful (on a good day). I’m an author/rocket scientist/whatever”? She may then, it’s true, wish to add a little more detail by saying, “Oh and I have/don’t have children I’m married/have a nice partner/occasionally enjoy myself with a significant other”, but that’s surely secondary to what she is herself, isn’t it?

I admit that it’s a bit less common than it was a few years ago when almost all women rarely seemed to even mention publicly what really mattered about them, or to them, but they still often do behave in that far too selfless fashion nevertheless. Is it the maternal instinct that drives them to care more about others than they do about themselves? Or is it the historical male domination of society that has left women with the feeling that their mission in life should and must be to please some man – all the damn time? Or is it something else?

I’m not championing strident, bitchy, uncaring women here – unending loud belligerence is unattractive whatever a person’s gender – but rather the idea that a quiet confidence is vital because it gives women that inner strength of knowing who they truly are as individuals and therefore what they want, totally independent of any outside others they may care about and want to please and enjoy from time to time. To turn an old English saying around: what’s good for the gander, is absolutely bloody fine for the goose!

Okay then, go ahead and satisfy my masochistic tendencies by tearing my argument to pieces.

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Taking A Woman To Bed

I’m sure some of you have heard this oldie but goody before, but from a guy’s perspective…

The difference between girls/women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78 is as follows:

At 8  — You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 — She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 — She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 — You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 — If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!

At 78 — What story? What bed? Who the hell are you???

Incidentally, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, at any given time:

190,374 people are having sex.

212,130 are kissing.

And a few sad people (like me) are simply reading/writing blogs.

Have a great weekend.

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Need A Laugh?

Okay, I’m done with serious for a while (probably a long while) and I know I’m often in desperate need of a laugh myself – it helps to stop me bursting into tears after watching TV news and such like…

Anywaaaay – The Blog Spy has been about again and here’s an offering from a great blog. I do think this website is often just plain hilarious. There are quite a few writers who post there and this is an article by “unknownmami”, a very funny lady.

Naturally, as always, this might just be down to my quirky sense of humour, but I bet it makes a few of my readers giggle at the very least.

The blog is the excellent “Aiming Low” blog, which incidentally describes itself as “perfectly mediocre” (though it’s anything but, to my mind), and you can see the post that most recently amused me right here.

Take a cup of coffee with you when you go over there because I think you might find yourself browsing around there for a while, once you finish laughing at the post in question.

I hope you enjoy.

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Free Women?

I’ve vacillated almost endlessly, unable to decide whether to post this, or not. I suspect some people I respect will misunderstand me or my intentions. In the end, though, I’ve decided that I should stop being a coward and say it, right or wrong, so here goes…

For once I want to be serious. Jeez! I know! It doesn’t happen very often, does it? Look out for a blue moon tonight and watch out for the odd flying pig too.

However, to my mind, the question mark in my title does say a great deal about the subject of this post. Are women free, or liberated these days? Well, particularly in some cultures, just as was true thousands of years ago, some plainly are. Also, it’s perhaps a far greater proportion now than it once was during recent centuries – in the West at least. But I have to admit that I don’t think that most are all that free at all.

Then again, some would argue that relatively few people of either gender are free in any real sense of the word, but I suppose the question most women would really be asking is: are women today at least as free as their equivalent men of today? I suspect the answer to that question when asked in general terms is still a resounding NO.

Before I attempt to explain why, I ask you to please take a good look at a great article from a clever and talented lady. It makes some entirely valid and well argued points. It’s also something with which I entirely agree in principle at least. Conversely, I almost totally disagree with it as well, on a very different level.

I know – that’s as clear as mud, isn’t it? I guess I’d better pause here whilst you go for a quick read of the excellent article right here…

Done? Okay then. Now, if you’ve looked at the post in the link, then I hope you’ll understand when I say that I can’t disagree in the slightest with the sentiments at least and that I think all the behaviour and phrases quoted are clearly of an unpleasant nature (certainly when used publicly) and not a way in which I hope I would ever regard or behave towards any woman. Nevertheless, the comment quoted as being from Charlie Sheen (for instance) only serves to demonstrate that he apparently knows practically nothing about real women and very little about sex either, but then some people have extremely limited imaginations. In any event, he’s only playing up to the role he’s picked for himself (or that has been picked for him) in the eyes of his ‘fans’.

Equally, I should point out that it’s not all one-sided and I don’t much like the way some women refer to men and stereotype them either, but (as the rather graphic saying goes) shit happens and I’m not going to lose any sleep over it, or dignify people like that by giving a damn about them – they are what they are – usually rather stupid and pretty ignorant, in my opinion.

The simple and absolute fact is that some men hate women and some women hate men. No one can change that truth by legislating, or complaining, or anything else (unless you’re prepared to shoot them of course), because they think what they think and every time you highlight their behaviour, you simply increase their importance. Most people are not that pathetic, so why would you care about a stupid minority of insignificant jerks? Marginalise them and they and their ilk will eventually become almost invisible.

There are women’s issues that desperately need to be addressed, such as equal pay for equal work and real equality of opportunity regardless of gender, though childbirth is a factor to be considered in some cases, whether anyone likes it or not. This post is not the place or occasion to discuss the subject in detail, but these days and for most women, the decision to bear children is just that – a choice. I can see no reason whatsoever why an employer should be forced to manipulate reality in order to try to ensure that such a choice does not affect the career prospects of the individual. I believe that positive discrimination is just as evil as negative discrimination.

All that said, although I write fiction, there is a recurring theme in much of what I produce, particularly in my sci-fi stories and it’s that most women of the future are strong and liberated. In my tales, whatever their individual hang-ups and insecurities, future women have largely achieved equality and even superiority at times by one simple means – as a gender, they DON’T GIVE A DAMN what any man thinks! Of course, I’m not talking about personal relationships, those are always excepted, private and should be what suits and is developed by the individuals involved for themselves. Outside of that, I’m a passionate believer in the equality of women, but I’m also sure that they’ll never achieve it if they remain dependent on men being nice to them, frequently not saying what they think and allowing it to occur because it’s some kind of decent thing to do. It simply won’t happen!

Men don’t care much what women (as a whole gender, rather than as individuals) think of them, but women on the other hand are all too often demanding that men in general should view them differently from the way they do. That is not only unrealistic and doomed to failure, it’s a dreadful weakness and they will not succeed in achieving their goals until they manage to move on from that and cast off the shackles of such limiting ideas.

So, there you go. I say again, I think the article in the link is superb, but I do think it also highlights a weakness in the female cause. That, for what it’s worth, is my opinion. Still, no one ever took much notice of my views in the past, so I can’t imagine that anything will change significantly on this occasion.

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I Can’t Get Close To Some Women

Surprisingly (you might reasonably think), for once I’m not talking here about the fact that various desirable sexy icons from the world of celebrities don’t even know I exist (why would they?), or even about some failing that prevents me from forming meaningful relationships – on a bad day, I wish!

No, this post is actually a statement of my unbounded admiration for some (many?) successful female writers in particular.

As an example of this, take Molly Greene. To me, she and others like her are simply awesome. I cannot imagine how she manages the vast amount of work she appears to get through in an average day, month, year. Discussing building a following on Twitter (an excellent article that you can find here in full or just go to her blog and read everything she writes) as a way of gaining publicity and therefore increasing sales, she revealed a good deal about her ability to juggle life that amazes me. The same thing applies to the great friends she names in the article.

This is how she describes herself:

“Novelist, author, writer with an extensive real estate background. Has appeared in the National Association of Realtors® Magazine, the San Diego Association of Realtors® Magazine, Apartment Association magazines throughout California, Scotsman Guide, and Reader’s Digest. Author of the booklet “For Sale By Owner.” Mystery novel “Mark of the Loon” will be released late 2011. Currently working on a sequel, “Rapunzel.” Serial remodeler, rehabbed and sold six homes, several by owner, without an agent in purchase or sale. Currently remodeling number seven!”

Really? When the heck does she find time to sleep, eat, be normal? Come to that, when does she find time to write – anything?

I know that women are famously wonderful at multi-tasking and some of her better known author friends and others do frequently guest post (which must be a huge help – any offers?), but I can’t achieve anything close to that level of output. On top of that, I’m just a tad jealous of how well written, thoughtful and full of excellent tips and advice her articles are.

I guess the truth I have to face is that, as a mere male, I’ll never get close to women like Molly Greene in terms of work and, even if I did by some freak chance get close to one such as her on a personal level, she’d probably scare the hell out of me!

Ah, well… such is my lot, I fear…

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I Guess I’m A Fan

In my opinion, the apparent (public) personas of Jennifer Lopez, Kim Cattrall and Cameron Diaz (amongst a few others) make them three of the sexiest women on the planet today. On top of that, I generally think that Marilyn Monroe (who was anything but the dumb blonde she usually portrayed) must probably have been one of the sexiest women to ever walk the Earth since humanity began – so I suppose that makes me a fan of these women, though I don’t much like that term. For sure, I do often rather idolise sexy women with attitude and these females of our species all fall well into that category – in my mind at least.

Of course, many of you may disagree and even detest (or at the very least not much like) my choices and their work. But then, that’s the point, isn’t it? This is an example of my personal taste and not everyone likes the same things. However, the fact is that when people go to see a film starring these individuals, or if they read a book by a well known author, view a picture by a famous artist, or go to a concert by Kylie Minogue or some similar superstar, the majority of the people involved are already “fans” of what that artist provides and adulation by the audience is therefore almost guaranteed.

So, that leaves us with something of a conflict: Whilst diversity is the basis for the success of our species, finding those with a common attitude is the key to individual triumph for many and particularly for those who do the sort of things people like me do – things “artistic”. If you’ve already made it big, that’s quite easy since the mere mention of your name will enable tens of thousands (hopefully even millions) of people to instantly recognise the type of work you do and know that they like (or dislike) it…

But what of the rest of us? If you have the odd few million pounds or dollars tucked away, a TV advertising campaign will almost certainly make your fortune. But then, if you have that sort of money spare, why would you bother, unless it’s solely for vanity’s sake?

Naturally, not all of us are the next William Shakespeare (I know I’m not) and many of us wouldn’t even want to be, but that doesn’t mean that a lot of us don’t create half decent work that many would find enjoyable – if only we could get known by those members of the public who would buy what we produce if they even knew we existed and had experienced our creativity. Of course, Twitter, FB and the like are good platforms for self promotion, but is there really that much point in advertising your work to other writers? A few may buy what you do; a few may be good enough to review your work and speak kindly of it; a few also read everything they can get their hands on and may then tell others. But the truth is, I suspect, that what we are often forming on such social sites is what amounts to a pretty limited and often quite elitist mutual admiration society.

The big book stores and the whole conventional publishing industry acts as a sort of “fan club” for writers and other artists and presents their work to the world at large – sadly, since they are primarily businesses, they (quite naturally and not unreasonably) only do that for the already successful, those who have formerly achieved fame (or maybe infamy) and the lucky few these omnipotent beings decide will, by hook or by crook, be the next big thing…

There must be a better way for everyone else, but I’m damned if I know what it is…

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I Actually Managed To Do Some Work

I’ve quite surprised myself recently. I’ve never been the most industrious of authors. When I say that, I’m not really referring to the amount I write, but more my lack of sticking to the drudgery of editing and preparing stuff for publication when I’m not pushed by some outside force (like an agent or publisher)… and that’s one of the many problems I personally find when going the Indie route that I mentioned in an earlier post.

However, recently, I’ve had a bit of a rush of blood to the head (or something like that) ever since my decision to turn at least some of my stuff into eBook format and publish it on Amazon and so forth.

On top of that, I’m equally bad at persevering with doing what needs to be done when it comes to advertising my work too. It’s true I just love to do what I do regardless, but there isn’t ultimately all that much point in doing all that work if I don’t bother to tell anyone about it, is there? Hence this post and a few other inadequate things I’m doing.

The Superior Gene:

The Superior Gene is a Sci-Fi adventure story that is set mostly in the next century. It is of course rather darker in places than my fun romances, but it also has its lighter side too. However, as with most of my Sci-Fi stories, it’s more about the human condition when a “what if” scenario confuses things, rather than tales full of “bug-eyed” monsters. Naturally, there’s quite a bit of sex in it too. Now there’s a surprise, coming from me, eh?

Book 1 – Jason, Source Of The Gene is (as I mentioned a while ago) now published for Kindle and has been selling quite well. In fact, to be honest, it’s selling very well considering the fact that I’ve done almost nothing to seriously promote it.

Still, you do really need to read it before you start the second and third books of the trilogy and they are coming along much quicker than I anticipated – largely as a result of my new found diligence.

Book 2 – Louise, Progress of The Gene is perhaps the biggest surprise for me, since that too is now available for Kindle… I know – already! Scary, isn’t it? I mean, what am I thinking? Two books in a month! Jeez! Louise is quite exciting too with a fair bit of death and danger along the way and plenty of sex, of course.

The book explains more and takes the story forward quite a lot. Louise is the one main character  common to all three books.

However, more terrifying yet (for me) is the fact that…

Book 3 – Justin, Destiny of The Gene
will also be finished in eBook format in the next few weeks too! I know – bloody hell! Actually, Justin is the book that pulls the whole thing together and makes this into a real trilogy. It explains things about my scenario that must surely puzzle some readers within the other two books, which in part set the scene for book 3 to happen at all.

Anyway, like I say, book 3 will be out fairly soon too, so please hurry up and read books 1 and 2…

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Actually, thinking about it now, I suppose the trilogy could quite easily be turned into a whole series, if some TV or film producer is interested… Anyone?

Oh well… never mind, eh?

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Follow The Indie Route?

I can understand those who favour the Indie route to publishing and there are two main reasons for that…

Firstly: Who wants to hang around whilst dozens, perhaps hundreds, of agents wait three months to not even bother to read your submissions, query letters and so on? And many publishers seemingly won’t even open mail that doesn’t come from an agent.

Authors tend to be independent thinkers (the literal meaning of “Indie” is independent if you don’t know, as I didn’t until a while back), so it’s hardly surprising that they are not immediately enamoured of the stranglehold that the system has had on their livelihoods.

Secondly: The conventional agent/publisher setup has more and more moved towards making their authors do most of the work anyway and many authors now have to find, arrange and then attend their own book signings, lectures, talks, do their own advertising and more – so why would they want to give away ten to twenty percent of their meagre royalties to someone who’s doing damn all for them?

However, there is also a third reason: The publishing world has changed only in the last few years – very rapidly and dramatically. We are witnessing a revolution that has resulted from the rise of the Internet and the sudden explosion in communications that has engendered a desire for eBooks. What was once a fad, a niche, a trickle, has now almost magically turned into a mighty torrent in which conventional publishing is often close to drowning as it is carried along by the current. Of course, Amazon did much to kick it off, but now many of the big guys are scrambling to climb aboard and some of them have pretty certainly left it too late.

The problem that I see with all that (and it’s where I kind of think the big publishers have shot themselves repeatedly in the foot with their past arrogance and greed, which threatens to make them ultimately irrelevant) is that the Indie scene is not just about independence, but almost a way of life where often only the most diligent and tenacious of its believers are likely to succeed.

The reason I say that is because a whole lot of writers want to do just that: write! They don’t have any desire to be entrepreneurs, salespeople, marketers, advertisers and all the rest. By their very nature, writers are usually creative people and they are mostly happiest when they are just writing in the hope that someone, somewhere, will read what they turn out.

However, I suppose they could always seek a person or company who would be their agent in this and who… Ohw… Goddamn it!

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