Archive for sexuality

So, How Do You Like It?

Posted in Scandalous! with tags , , , , , , , , on December 14, 2011 by AF

What? Sex of course! Ah, no! Not in that sort of detail! Too much information! I’m referring to the written sort…

Anyway, the reason I ask is that I’m a guy and I’ve been around the block a few times – well, a lot of times – so I’m pretty uninhibited and I kind of feel that anything consenting adults enjoy doing privately with each other is their business and not my concern – except in my stories, of course, and that’s the point. Myself, I’ve certainly sometimes enjoyed some pornography and I can find it quite… er… interesting. However, whilst porn doesn’t particularly shock or disgust me (though I think some of it can be pretty gross) and I understand the common male attitudes to it, I do usually get quite quickly bored by it and, for me, it’s written erotica that is much more exciting – especially the very sexy, story driven stuff.

Now, additionally, the majority of my readers seem to be women (as far as I can tell) – at least, those who comment are generally of the female persuasion. As a result, I thought I’d see how many of you would complete a simple, light-hearted poll and provide a little more info about your likes and dislikes regarding erotic moments on the written page.

Go on. I promise I won’t tell – just tick as many of the choices as you feel are appropriate to you…

Of course, the poll is just for fun and it’s naturally anonymous – unless you want to tell me more in comments below, but that’ll be our secret, won’t it? Oh and I promise I’ll do my best to protect your identity when it appears in the next book or short story…

😉

Advertisements

There Always Seems To Be Sex In Everything

Posted in Writing and Things Literary with tags , , , , , , , , on August 11, 2011 by AF

That’s: there always seems to be sex in pretty much everything I write – blog posts, books, short stories – even my Sci-Fi novels. I guess that says something about me, do you think?

Ah, well… Why not, eh? After all, it’s what makes the world go round for most of us, isn’t it? Let’s face it, without sex, we’d probably all still be single cell organisms. Worse than that, it would appear that I’d have nothing to say about anything – and I do like to write, even when relatively few people read it.

In fact writing and sex have a lot in common for me: I adore both activities even when I don’t get paid for doing either of them! Mind you, money’s important – sex anyone?

However, on that score and in the true spirit of shameless self promotion, some of my novels are now coming out as eBooks…

Seductive Chance, my story of an artist who discovers all sorts of things about himself and women over a two year or so period is now available for Kindle on Amazon. It’s a bit of light-hearted fun with quite a lot of sex in it too (of course).

The women in the book tend to be fairly strong and decisive (and naturally pretty horny), whilst Mike Farmer, the male lead and narrator seems to spend most of his time full of self-doubt. He’s a nice guy at heart and pretty quiet and unassuming, just like me I guess… Hah! Okay, okay… not at all like me, then!

The Superior Gene: Book One – Jason, Source Of The Gene is also there (books 2 & 3 of the trilogy should also be up there in the next few weeks/months). The Superior Gene is a Sci-Fi adventure story that is set mostly in the next century. It is of course rather darker in places than my fun romances, but it also has its lighter side too. However, it in part describes an Earth where women have finally realised that it doesn’t matter a damn what men think. Naturally, that means there’s quite a bit of sex in it too. Now there’s a surprise, eh?

Even if you don’t buy either of the books (though it would be lovely if you did, of course), just take a peek at them at least, will you? Will you really? Please… Pretty please?

😉

I Got To Wondering

Posted in Miscellaneous with tags , , , , , , , , on June 15, 2011 by AF

That’s wondering, as distinct from wandering, which I also have a tendency to do, but then at my advanced age, what do you expect?

Anywaa-aay… I got to thinking about all the various conventions and attitudes by which we live – they are certainly many and varied around the world, but how do they develop? What first made people in parts of Asia start to believe that showing the soles of your feet was somehow “rude”? Or, come to that, why throwing a shoe (or was it shoes?) at the then President G. W. Bush of the USA was so insulting (apart from the possibility of hitting him on the head and knocking some sense into it). That is something that occurs all over the place, but it is much more an Arab (and perhaps Asian) thing than any other since it is apparently they who mostly tend to consider shoes as “dirty” or “unclean”.

I suppose, though, that the strangest and most wildly varying attitudes around the world are those that we have towards nudity and sex (you knew I’d get around to my favourite subject sooner or later, didn’t you?)…

In the so-called developed world, the UK is a bit on the puritanical side at times, though we seem fascinated by the sex lives of others, most notably celebrities. Nudity also seems to worry us too, but again not that of others – especially when it comes to pictures of pretty young women in newspapers like the Sun. The Germans will apparently, as someone once said to me, strip off anywhere and in front of anyone, though I can’t say that fills me with a huge amount of anticipation, with the notable exception of Heidi Klum and a few like her. The French? Who knows what the French really think about anything? The Latin countries, like Spain and Italy in particular seem to me to have a very healthy attitude to nudity and sex, neither of which usually phase them in any way and they are both usually regarded as part of life’s rich pattern – a nice and enjoyable part – and that sounds about right to me.

Arab countries and others who follow the Moslem faith are generally way out of date (to my way of thinking), but then so are most of their more rigid attitudes to women. Their often total ban on even a husband and wife showing affection towards each other in public seems to me to be simply archaic and, in truth, outright stupid. Again, though, that’s just my opinion and I confess that there’s not much that I properly understand about Islam – although what I do know does nothing to encourage me to study it further. Yet the fact is that many, if not all, of our ingrained attitudes that are not the result of simple superstition and myth probably have their root somewhere in one organised religion or another – and each to his own on that one! What people believe about their preferred deity is personal and none of my business… except…

Well… where do American attitudes to nudity and sex come from? It seems to me (quite possibly wrongly) that their approach to those subjects is chock full of contradictions. Their (laudable in my opinion) position on free speech and freedom of expression allows that almost anything goes and yet their underlying mind-set appears to be one that exhibits cultural insecurity in the extreme. There are (I understand) strict and precise rules about the amount of “butt crack” that can be shown along with gasps of shock-horror if a woman should go topless on a beach (I realise that some of these things may vary from state to state) and yet just about anything is seemingly for sale in nightclubs and strip joints, lap dancing clubs and so on. I mean, where does this dichotomy come from?

Sorry, but I really don’t get it! If you believe in a benign and loving deity, then surely you have to believe that sex was given to humanity for us all to enjoy, or it makes a total nonsense of your own beliefs. If you don’t believe, then what the heck’s your problem with what has clearly driven our very creation and further growth into the modern human race?

Anyone want to explain? 😉

So You Want Him To Be Different

Posted in Miscellaneous with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 10, 2011 by AF

I do find the apparent attitudes of many on both sides of the sexual divide quite disturbing at times. Men and women both always seem to be whining about the other. What the heck do you people expect? People are the way they are – if you don’t like it, pick another who’s more like what you want…

It appears to me that there is, these days, often a male aggressiveness towards women that is more common than it used to be. There have, of course, always been men from all walks of life who have behaved brutishly to women and, whilst I personally abhor that, I’ve always regarded it as frequently resulting from an underlying inadequacy in the men themselves – an inferiority complex that they cover-up with violence. There are too, the control freaks, who exhibit a similar belligerence, but mostly on a psychological level. Yet that too, I believe, has its roots in a feeling of inadequacy within them. On top of that, of course, some men are just thugs!

Equally, though, many women want men to be what they call “more sensitive”, or more caring – more considerate. On the face of it, there’s nothing wrong with that, although women too, in both the physical and psychological sense have generally become much more antagonistic themselves and tend to be anything but the well behaved and even demure types they once were. That too is fine, but many take that to extremes and are often strident and exhibit personality traits that would be unpleasant in a man, but are (to me) downright ugly in a woman. Don’t get me wrong here, I love confident, strong and self sufficient women. I adore that they feel empowered and able to be themselves, but there’s empowered and there’s needlessly downright spiteful – the two are not the same and spitefulness too, to me, usually comes from underlying feelings of one’s own inadequacy.

However, all that said and in my opinion, it’s a feature of modern life that people – men and women – seem to have forgotten how to behave decently. I’m not using the word in its sexual sense – I’m all in favour of women in particular being as indecent as they like – please! But I do mean having consideration for another’s feelings and wellbeing. In other words (although I’m not religious) I think that “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, as we are instructed in the Bible, is a very good maxim by which to live. I know I’m probably paraphrasing, but then, as I said, I’m not religious.

The fact is that men and women do usually have entirely different priorities and concerns in their lives. Women don’t seem to me (as a generalisation) to want to believe that, but it is largely just a fact of evolution and I can’t see a damned thing wrong with it! For instance: some women will complain, “He doesn’t do his share of the housework.” That’s probably true of those who are not “new men” (thank heavens there are still some that aren’t), but then who is it decides what constitutes “the housework” that needs to be done? Right! Usually the “her” who’s bitching. If you go into an average single guy’s apartment, it’ll often likely be a mess. He just doesn’t “see” what most women will see, so what the complainant in this example is really saying is, “He doesn’t take his share of what I want done!” and that is something very different.

So, girls… we are different (thank heavens once again) and I have no problem with you wanting things to be your way, that’s your right and good for you – but, if that’s the case and your partner doesn’t feel the same, do it yourself! Stop complaining just because the whole world doesn’t see things your way, or else you’ll have to wait until your guy gets around to it (if ever), or go and find another male who’s a bit more timid.

Of course, if you’re wise, instead of bitching, you’ll deal: you want a sparkling house and help with that (or whatever else it is that’s all important to you and your guy doesn’t care much about) – fine, but he wants what he sees as a hot piece of ass – and that’s about it, usually! What’re you gonna do about that, honey?

Now… who’s going to be first in line to tell me how that’s all rubbish?

😉

A Difficult Subject

Posted in The Blog Spy with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 4, 2011 by AF

Wearing my Blog Spy hat, I’ve come across something that I feel is both difficult to deal with and important – well, it’s not just something that I feel is important, it is important – it’s bloody vital in fact.

This, apparently, is Sexual Assault Awareness Month in the USA. I suppose that the very worst aspect of this is that it’s sufficiently widespread that there appears to be a need for such a movement at all – what is it with humanity that it can be so damned awful?

Sorry, I digress somewhat… Anyway, I came across this site and I was struck by this realistic and apparently honest post by a victim of childhood sexual abuse – I said this was a difficult subject, didn’t I? It’s also much more serious than I tend to be on this site. However, the post is not particularly ugly, or graphic, but in my opinion it does go a long way towards explaining many of the failures and difficulties of our current approach to this whole matter. If you feel inclined (and I hope you do) please take a few moments to go and read this quite long, but well written article on the subject of one young girl’s experiences and the views it has left her with. The blog is called “Sociology of Sheena” and is full of interesting material on all sorts of subjects. The writer is Sheena LaShay and, in spite of her childhood experiences, she appears to be a well balanced and exciting young woman with artistic flair.

The piece in question, to my mind, quite clearly indicates what I have long thought is silly – the daft idea that we should “protect” children from knowledge about sex, rather than discussing it openly as “just another topic”. Of course, one needs to keep what our young ones hear, see and experience within the bounds of what they can understand at their particular age, but attempting to keep children ignorant of reality and what is euphemistically called “innocent” is, I think, not only utter tripe, but inherently dangerous for the kids themselves. Knowledge is power and ignorance equals increased risk. In the case of children, they are instinctively more aware of sex (at its most basic level) than most adults appear to realise and trying to pretend otherwise is just plain ridiculous as well as doing the children themselves a huge disservice.

What we are often foisting onto our children is a composite of our own hang-ups, insecurities and embarrassments about a subject that is vital to both us and future generations. If you don’t try very hard to be open and honest with your children on this vital subject, then it’s not doing them any good. They have to know about sex, whether you wish that was so or not. Heck, they have a right to know about sex and the best way you can teach them is by being easy, confident and unflustered by the subject, answering any questions they may have in a sensible and appropriate way. When a young child first asks the dreaded “where did I come from” question, a simple “mummy”, or “mummy’s tummy” is sufficient – when it’s not enough, they’ll ask again.

In spite of its apparent prevalence if we listen to the media, serious sexual abuse of children (particularly deliberate abuse by paedophiles) is much rarer than many think it is and, in any event, an informed child is a forewarned child – just be aware that making them scared of the world, sex and strangers is not a good idea unless they can get the danger into perspective (and if you can’t, they won’t). Most sexual abuse involves someone the child knows and only becomes really serious because the child cannot spot it for what it is and talk about it to understanding adults who will not become horrified and make the child feel dirty, guilty or at fault – especially if, at a basic level, that child experiences some physical pleasure, whilst at the same time being emotionally distraught and/or confused – that is just nature.

Once again – please take the time to read the full article here.

Sex is never a bad thing, it’s a beautiful thing, but there are those who misuse it and abuse trust placed in them.

You’ve Been Conned, Honey!

Posted in Scandalous! with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2011 by AF

Well, not just you, but all women. Of course, when I start talking about “all” women, it’s by definition a generalisation and naturally won’t apply to some individuals, but certainly in my opinion, women throughout the ages have mostly been subjected to a huge male scam and in spite of being male myself, I can’t say I approve.

So, what is this con? It’s one my old favourite subjects – fidelity – of course. I think the easiest way to explain what I’m going on about is probably to try to cut the emotions out of the picture for the moment and look at the basics – not easy for any of us, I admit, but it’s worth a try…

On a purely unemotional basis, there are I think two things we should look at in the beginning…

Firstly, there’s the instinct side of things. Men often claim that it’s their “instinct” to be promiscuous and that it’s all about spreading their genes around. That may indeed be true, to some extent at least. Hang on a moment! Please! Don’t throw that glass, bottle, whatever,  at me – just let me finish first. There is considerable evidence for this instinctive reaction in the animal kingdom – for instance a lion that takes over a pride will often automatically kill existing cubs so that it is only his offspring that will be reared in what has become his harem from then on. That may not be very nice, but it’s the way nature works…

Secondly, all the evidence suggests that women are just as naturally promiscuous as men, but convention has almost always decreed otherwise. Damn! You’re a good shot when you’re riled, aren’t you?

But the important point is that it’s my opinion that those two facts are linked.

The way I see it: in the past, men have always been stronger both physically and having more power – particularly economic power. Additionally, because human children take so long to mature, the males have had to invest considerable time and effort in protecting them and the mother who nurtures them. Therefore, since they instinctively used their power to ensure that it is their children a woman gives birth to and rears.

As women have over the centuries gained education and power of their own the males of our species have insisted on female fidelity, whilst still looking to spread their own genes as far and wide as possible. In history – even relatively recent history – it has been regarded as a vastly more serious crime for women to “stray”, than for a man to do the same thing.

However, women have, partly as a result of their own weak position in this unfair situation and partly because of a preparedness to accept a one-sided convention, been too ready to agree to an abstinence from sex with anyone but their partner as part of the “deal” between male and female that they regard as a relationship. Whereas, in fact, the whole convention is no more than a male con since the female sex drive is just as strong as any man’s, though more often than not as a result of their natural desire to conceive…

…and there’s the weakness, since the presence and support of a male is still regarded as desirable (and even essential by some) for the production and rearing of children, although I can’t for the life of me really see why. There is, in my opinion, little if anything that a couple can do together that most women can’t do perfectly well on their own and for themselves, but they allow those tired old male conventions to keep on dragging them back to the artificial fold that men have created for the purpose.

😉

I Spy With My Little Eye

Posted in Scandalous!, The Blog Spy with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 4, 2011 by AF

I spy something beginning with “S” – Yup! It’s the Blog Spy again…

However, this time it’s something a little different. If you’re easily embarrassed or don’t like the subject of sex then I guess this won’t suit you – but then again, if you don’t like the spicy stuff, why do you read this stuff I scribble anyway? What? Did you not figure out that the “S” stood for sex – one of my favourite topics? Aw, shucks, honey.

Nevertheless, this young woman has recently started a blog and is exploring her sexuality and that of others in some detail and fairly openly – apparently both in writing and reality. It isn’t quite as titillating as it sounds, since she’s quite serious about it and writes with humour. In any event, I prefer the more experienced members of the opposite sex, but I imagine she’ll get there, as practice  (so the saying goes) makes perfect. On which basis, it shouldn’t take her very long.

Anyway, this work of hers is part of her studies as a journalism student at university and her writing is quite good, so why not call in at her blog and give her some encouragement, eh? She may of course cease to blog once her studies are done, but I actually hope she keeps it up after university (no pun intended).

The blog in question is named “Sauce and the City” and the post I think I liked most so far from this saucy young lady is this one entitled “My Mother, On Sex” – isn’t it interesting how the younger generation has this belief that parents can’t guess exactly what their offspring like to do in private?