It’s a New Year So…

Happy New Year to you all and may it be a prosperous one too.

Now, what shall we talk about? Politics? Nah… depressing. The economy? Hmm… likewise. Climate change? Ugh! Ah, I know. How about sex? Oh, come on, you’re just like me in some respects at least: you like sex – even just talking about it… if nothing else it gets the collective motors of the nation running and it’s a subject that’s nothing to do with the politicians (however much they stick their oar in), they haven’t figured a way to it tax (yet) and it’s even pretty much carbon neutral too!

So, where were we? Oh, yes… sex!

Let me ask a question that I’m sure quite a few people will have an opinion about – do men and women really have different attitudes to sex? It’s often assumed that they do, but I’m not quite so sure…

There are obvious historical influences – women are the half of the equation that have the babies, so if they’re not in a stable LTR then I guess it’s pretty understandable that they would be a bit wary of the possible consequences. However, nowadays, when it’s in women’s own power to control and be sure of contraception, that’s no longer really an issue for most (aside from those with strict religious objections to such practices, but then the same could be said of men who don’t want to be stuck with a paternity suit in such circumstances). STDs are a serious concern too, of course, but again that at least should be a fear for both men and women alike, since they are mostly at roughly equal risk.

Personally, I can see only one probably valid difference and I think that is, to a considerable degree, a diminishing one – women do have a general tendency to invest more emotion in sex than the majority of men, or at least that’s how it appears. A man can love his partner to bits, but he’ll often struggle a lot more to resist when a hot piece of ass starts to incandesce next to him. I think a woman is (frequently) much more likely to find it easier to simply fantasise about the hunk she’d like to screw, but do nothing more physical about it. But then that’s partly because of nature – and no, I don’t mean the old one about men being naturally and instinctively promiscuous, because I think the sexes are equally genetically predisposed to that…

No, in this instance, I’m referring to an altogether more subtle difference – the fact that, purely as a generality, women are more imaginative than men. A woman can dream of another man and get a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction from that dream. Men (again, generally) aspire rather than dream and if a hottie makes it plain she’d like to, he’ll tend to aspire to have her, rather than just imagine the pleasure and leave it at that.

What do you think? Would you? Could you? If not, why not? But just remember… it’s never normally very wise to say “never,” is it?


12 Responses to “It’s a New Year So…”

  1. In my experience I do think that men in general tend to act on their infatuations and fantasies more than women. However, I think this has changed over the years with the advent of more women in the workplace and their exposure to more temptations.

    • I think you’re right – which kinda suggests that what held women back at one time was maybe partly opportunity, or lack of it… 😉

  2. If I was to make a sweeping generalization, I’d say a greater number of women have more control over their impulses than men; however, it’s like anything else in life…some do, some don’t, there’s a great overlap.

    Testosterone is a key element here. It’s a hormone that can be very powerful, if you let it Women only have a wee bit of it.

    You have been noticeably absent from my blog. Am I to be offended by this? I’m not, so you should let me know if I should be. 😉

    • Yes, testosterone is undoubtedly an element in this, of course, but then we’re all a mess of hormones of one sort or another, aren’t we? On that score, I just love the way estrogen makes women look, but that’s just a personal view you understand

      No, you shouldn’t be offended, so I’m glad you’re not (I’ve been away fo the New Year so mostly haven’t had time to do more than drop in and straight out again).

      Happy New Year to you

  3. Poisonally, I was once very religious, and from this perspective I can assert that I was very imaginative and lusty while maintaining a strict abstinence for years.

    If men and women have an equal capacity for mental — err — discipline, then I think gender has very, very little to do with it, much to the potential chagrin and dismay of biologists. I mean, if a 16 yr. old boy in Surf City, USA can refuse to act on the advances of a 16 yr. old girl in a bikini because he has principles based on faith alone, then anyone can have any sort of sexual proclivities, tendencies, or antipathies they like, seems to me. Don’t get me wrong; it was hard. But it wasn’t *that* hard. I was a caged bird in song, one could say.

    Ugh. What a horrible reflection, ha ha.

    Nice visiting with you, Frayle.

    • Yes, well… It’s just my personal opinion you understand, but since you raise the subject, I’ve always thought that faith will make a nonsense of almost anything and, indeed, everything.

      However, I’m sure you’re right and there is relatively little difference between men and women – except for the obvious and very nice bits 😉

      Thanks for the input.

  4. Hmmmmmm. There’s something to be said about having a finely tuned imagination and being able to control impulses and divert them to an active fantasy life.

    Are women more able to exercise self-control? Maybe. Either that, or they’re just too tired 😉

    • Ha, ha. Awww – don’t give me that too tired stuff… and don’t tell me you’re too busy either – as a UK comedian said recently: if women are so good at multi-tasking, how come they can’t have sex and a headache at the same time 😉

  5. Yeah, Ree, I dunno about all that. I mean, diverting impulses to an active fantasy life wouldn’t work if we were talking about, say, one’s career, would it: “I guess I could work harder and go back to school for my PhD, but really, there’s something to be said for working a 9-5 and using my lunch breaks to sit around and dream about it?”

    Naw, I don’t think so. Besides, self-control in sex is not conducive to a healthy sexual appetite, let alone actual fantasy. Nobody’s saying one has to be non-monogamous — merely lusty. I guess.

  6. Yep! Besides, fantasies are excellent and all, but they’re pretty overrated after puberty, you know? What’s the point in becoming an adult if you won’t do “adult” things? Just my opinion.

    For the record though, I’m a serial monogamist, and not an enemy of marriage.

    • Well, I tend to think that what’s going on in a person’s head during sex is at least as important as what’s going on physically – the two are inextricably linked in the best sex at least. But I take your point… 😉

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