So, What About Equality?

I know I’ve said something along these lines before, but this is one of my core beliefs, so I won’t apologise if I’m repeating myself somewhat here.

As long as I can remember (and that’s a real long time), I’ve wished most of the time that I had been born a woman. I don’t mean in a sexual sense because I’m very hetero, although I can tell you for sure I’d have been a millionaire by the time I was nineteen if I’d had a female body – but in this instance, I mean in terms of gender and all that goes with it.

There are of course, many types of women: nice ones, nasty ones, tall ones, short ones, fat ones, thin ones, in between and gorgeous ones who are very sexy that I’d like to get to know very, very… sorry (I told you – I’m entirely hetero), but I’m getting off the track again, aren’t I? However, the point is that, just as with men, the types you come across are as varied as the whole human race and probably most other species too, but the thing that makes women different (apart from the obvious physical bits), is their apparently natural ability and desire to socialise and above all to help one another.

Men just don’t do that – not like women do, at least. Take a straightforward example – BlogHer. It’s huge and growing all the time. I’m sure there’s some bitchiness and selfishness (of course there is – anything else would be unnatural), but the fact is that it works – and works simply because women are… well, women! Don’t believe me? Ok-aay… did you hear about BlogHim? No, nor me! A lot of women together is an awesome thing – damn scary, but still awesome! If you have a moment to spare, just take a peek at this blogger’s profile, here (and do watch the video – if it loads, because it’s a Blogspot site and Vista doesn’t seem to like it, but it’s worth the wait if you can manage it). Of course, men do conferences and so on, but I just can’t imagine this as an all male event anywhere.

So, I guess my question is: Why in heaven’s name would you girls want to be equal to men – you already have it all? Ours is a miserable existence by comparison. Sure, I understand there are issues over pay and stuff in some (many?) cases, but for God’s sake! You’re bloody wonderful! Why would you ever want to change that and just become dull and boring like the rest of us, or suffer the pressures that men invariably seem to place on themselves?


15 Responses to “So, What About Equality?”

  1. It’s awesome to be a woman,not that I’ve been a man. Of course there will always be sexism. I’ve wished of becoming a man and thought than I could do anything if I were a man.
    I like the link.
    oh and honestly, I don’t think men are superior. There are things men can’t do and women can and vice versa.

  2. Thanks for visiting and commenting and please come back often…

    I’d like to disagree with what you say, because as a previous post pointed out, I do like to debate, but in all honesty, I agree entirely.

    Thanks again 🙂

  3. i don’t want to be a bloody man! women rule! 🙂

    “nice ones, nasty ones, tall ones, short ones, fat ones, thin ones, in between and gorgeous ones” – i thought you were going to break into some dr. seuss!

    • Ha! No, I don’t blame you one bit – you are already exactly the ideal gender.

      Yes, I see your thought, but I’m more of a Kylie Minogue sort of guy… 😉

  4. I never thought equality for women was about wanting to be anything other than having the same rights and being respected as an equal. And by equal I dont mean we have to be the same just that our views and opinions are of equal importance. I dont think women actually want to be men although we love them. Loved the link. Blogher is great but other than loving the notion that bloggers get together to network, meet and share ideas, I just cannot get into it all. I think it was set up for purely advertising reasons – the mommy blogger is a great target market for advertisers and business is big. Hats off to them though it has been done very well. Is there any bloggers forums or networks in theh UK as there is nothing here really. Perhaps you could start something.

    • HI Lilly, nice to see you back blogging and to hear from you again. Thanks for your interesting comment.

      I largely agree – at least with the sentiments of what you say. However, many men don’t repect other men as equals (even when they clearly are) so how do you expect them to get their heads around respecting women as equals? Plus, if you want to be picky, real respect is not something that is a right, but something that is earned.

      I agree that, these days, far fewer women want to be the same as men, but then, if they’re not the same, how can they expect to be treated the same – and I don’t mean as any lesser in any way – just differently. It’s (perhaps more literally than I at first thought of the analogy) like trying to treat two people from different lands exactly the same when you only speak the same language as one of them, don’t you think?

      I agree about BlogHer, but that doesn’t make the point any less valid – women just get together and do things – often anyway – and to answer your suggestion – men don’t really do that – they have to make a competition of everything (which incidentally is why women can often make better soldiers than men, if you can overcome the physical brute strength angle) by nature women cooperate – men compete!

      I’m sure that many more men would see women’s views and opinions as equally important if they understood a word they said… I mean, surely you have to admit that you ladies do have some weird ideas – for instance, most men would absolutely LOVE to be regarded as a sex object… PLEASE! 😉

      • Yes we are all different that’s the key. Therefore to judge someone on their sex is just plain stupid. Males or females. Women still do not get equal rights. Period. Simply because they are female. We all want to be admired, highly regarded and validated. Females and males. And not just based on our looks but everything else we bring to the table. If we all just made that step everything else would fall into place. And no we don’t have to understand each other to do it. Acceptance is where its at! And I keep trying to see men as something more than potential sex symbols – jeez its bloody hard some days!

  5. Honestly Adam– You stopped me in my reading tracks when you said “women HELP one another”. My mind immediately went to corporate America and my experience is that women basically don’t help each other all that much. But gal pals/friends– Yep, we’ll help our loved ones to no end.

    I’d like to be “equal” to men in the salary ranges and overall respect. I don’t see many guys kicked to the curb because they turned 40 or 50 or 60 years old. Those are the kinds of “equality” I’d like to experience.

    And, I agree with Lily too.

    Interesting post, Adam. Thanks. jj

    • Thanx. Yes, it was more on a “personal” level that I was thinking, rather than in the “corporate jungle” where I’m sure the evironment shapes us all (one reason I would never join a large company).

      I do largely agree with both of you and I also think you’re both absolutely right about the additional “limitations” put on women – although, in the UK, whether you’re male, female, or not sure, you’re basically regarded as a “has been” once you pass forty to fifty – finding yourself looking a new job is not a good place to be at those sorts of ages, which I regard as totally stupid.

      I do think though that many women lost sight (at least for a couple of decades) of what equality really meant to them and tried to be some kind of “super man”. Indeed, many managed it very well, but in doing that, they lost much of their femininity and emotional strength, often becoming confrontational – which is generally a very male trait.

      It’s actually a huge subject, though, and we could discuss it all day and all night (I’d like that, but I doubt it’s really practical – for you if not for me). So, my only plea is this: please , girls, don’t ever stop being 100% female and feminine, because you do in reality control everything – you just don’t always remember to use the REAL power you have. Who cares what men think? YOU know the truth! 😉

      • Lilly Says:

        Yes I am with Joanna on that. Interestingly the first woman I ever knew in my working life to make it big and be a trail blazer actually had a lot of male characteristics. I think she was just like that but her male peers felt very comfortable with her. So I don’t think its always that women adopt more male characteristics – the ones that made it in the early days had those to start with perhaps. And I still believe that the better looking you are as a female the harder it is. I wouldn’t know but my daughter who is beautiful, young and a lawyer finds it tough going. In fact, the CEO of her international firm came up to her at a function (after pestering someone to introduce them ) and said, “I guess you hear it all the time, but you look just like Angelina Jolie”. So that became the talk around the water coolers for days. What and who she looked like. It isn’t funny after a while but men don’t really get that.

        • Yes. I get that. But on the other hand, I do think personally that women SOMETIMES almost perpetuate the problem – if they REALLY didn’t give a damn what men they were not interested in as men thought, then some of the problem would go away in time – and THAT I think brings us back to how women think of THEMSELVES…

          Anyway, I’d vote for Angelina Jolie any time on a purely appearance basis – that’s UNLESS either J Lo, or Kylie, was in the room at the time – or apart from YOU, of course and, naturally, that’s on any basis! 😉

  6. PS I’d like to be a man- but only for 24 hours. jj

    • Yes. I can understand that – and I’m sure WE’d only want you to be a man for 24 hours – I doubt we could stand the competition and anyway, think of the loss we’d feel 😉

  7. Adam, I started watching the video about an hour ago and, somehow, got sidetracked in the middle of it. So it was paused and I ended up doing some laundry and cutting up THREE (3), packages of chicken breasts.
    Now there are people coming in the damn back door and I was just beginning to get my thoughts collected!
    Yes, I washed my hands before replying. You won’t get salmonella. That’s that whole “caring” thing you were going on about…

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