Get Over It!

You know, I’ve never fully understood the PC brigade about almost anything in general and the anti-sexism thing from many women in particular. I often thought something along the lines of, “What the hell is going on with them?” Since I’ve been blogging, though, things have become somewhat clearer.

It seems that there are two things going on of which I didn’t take account. Firstly, the UK has done what it always does and copied the US, although, as is so often the case, Britain and the Brits are entirely different from America and that explains to some extent why I never understood. In the UK, many women go on about equality and take an “I’m me and I’ll behave how I like and I’m entitled to this that or heaven knows what else, etc.,” attitude and the fact is they’re pretty much in control of a lot of things. If they’re not then I’m sorry for saying this but it’s because they either don’t want to be (that’s fine), or they’re too lazy to be (and a lot are), in spite of oodles of positive discrimination in their favour.

In the US, though, it does seem that things are probably a bit different and never having lived there, I didn’t get that bit. It seems to me, from what I read, that there is a lot more far more seriously sexist attitude from a significant number of men over there. But then everything seems to be bigger and sometimes more violent or extreme in the US, doesn’t it? Maybe a few of you can enlighten me further – particularly the females amongst my readers who have mostly always seemed to me to be extremely fair and well balanced members of their sex.

In Spain, where I spend most of my time, women are often delightful – why else do you think I’m here? They get un-PC remarks all the time, but they don’t take offence. In fact, many of them seem to revel in the fact that men find them sexy and attractive (and whole lot of them certainly are – very!) and the males are not afraid to comment on it. But then, as I observe and understand it (and like everything else it’s a generality and there are exceptions), just because a man thinks a woman looks hot and comments on it, it doesn’t mean he assumes that she would be interested in him either emotionally or physically. He might hope for such luck, or even dream about it, but that’s it! Incidentally, it’s a very definite no-no to call a woman “hot” here (in Spanish) – it’s just not polite because in the local jargon it means she is available to almost anyone and that’s not something most Spanish men would automatically think of any woman. More importantly, the women know that, so a few sexy comments don’t make them feel threatened or uncomfortable, just complimented and feminine.

I think that’s nice all round: men are men and women are women and each respects the other without needing to be particularly wary about their natural reactions – just how it should be.

9 Responses to “Get Over It!”

  1. So, I guess in a former life, I must NOT have lived in Spain. 🙂 Although I don’t mind being complimented at all.

    I think, here in the U.S., we’re ALL far too ready to fight over imagined slights and insults – which is why I love traveling out of the country.

    • Well, I only say what I see, but in fairness I don’t live on what they call the peninsular (mainland) so maybe it’s different there. Also, Spanish male and female attitudes have changed enormously over the last twenty years. Since where I live most of the time is one of the most cosmopolitan places in the world, maybe that has something to do with it too.

      However, none of that really matters much, the point is still valid I think – to me, it’s still the way it should be, even if it isn’t!

      I certainly agree with you that what some women see as offensive is simply meant to complimentary by the man and, surely, the intention behind it is far more important than something as simple as a comment.

  2. This one is a mixed bag, Adam. On the one hand, words are just words and this PC stuff does get carried too far at times. BUT, when I was of an age to draw cat calls from the male of the species, PC wasn’t in the picture at all and the line of decency was often crossed. Additionally, the decency line seemed to be crossed more often and to a further extent when men were in pairs or groups, making it downright uncomfortable for me as a lone young woman making her way from here to there.

    In today’s world, girls in their tween years are dressing in ways I would never have dreamed of dressing to go to school or work and that practice seems to be magnified with age… then women wonder why men act like pigs arounds them. Not that dressing a certain way makes it okay for someone else to act like a pig around them, but still…

    There are smooth ways to let a woman knows she’s attractive. There are smooth ways to let a man know he’s attractive. A true compliment is not a shades of gray presentation.

    • Yes, of course you’re totally right about all that and I would never dream of cat-calling as you describe – never would have in the past either – but that’s just upbringing and education, surely?

      Certainly guys get a bit bolder when there’s a group of them, but then so do girls and I do think teenagers are often VERY much more insensitive than they once were, but then unabashed sensitivity is not something you associate with most teenagers anyway, is it?

      As to the dress code… well, I don’t think the way many young women dress these days is any more revealing than when I was a young man – skirts were just as short and tops hid very little (occasionally – if anything at all). In any event, (I’m not necessarily advocating this you understand, just making a point) my attitude is that, if a woman wants to walk down the street naked then that’s her affair. I would reserve the right to look if I want to, but that’s it – she’s not automatically offering me or anyone else anything at all and it would be bloody arrogant of me to think otherwise!

      The main point I think I was making (in a way) is that, with a better attitude from both men and women (and that DOES come down to upbringing and education), when sexy, half naked women are all around, it’s no big deal and you barely notice a lot of the time – truly. It may not be the case except in my locality, it may not be true of all men here either (in fact I’m sure it’s not), but male AND female attitudes towards sex here are SO much more relaxed and open that it’s just a much happier place to my way of thinking.

      Respect is of course the key – but that’s hardly a subject for legislation and, when it’s the norm, it becomes the arrogant and badly behaved that are embarrassed because they stand out like sore thumbs.

      As I said, I do understand what you’re saying and I accept every word, but I still think all that and many other things are the result of the fact that the US and the UK have BOTH lost the power to educate and control their young people and THAT, like the over sensitivity of some people over this issue is almost exclusively the fault of the PC brigade and all the TOTAL CRAP they talk! Sorry that’s a bit forthright, but it is how I feel about such people!

      As ever, thank you for commenting – it really is very much appreciated 🙂

      • CAUTION! SWEEPING GENERALIZATION TO FOLLOW: The US is filled with people born beginning in the 80’s and continuing through the present, who have no sense of boundaries and no concept of respect as Webster defines it in the dictionary. Additionally, they have a HUGE sense of entitlement coupled with self-centeredness.

        Take those lovely qualities, or the lack thereof, and apply them to ANY social interaction and you’re bound to witness some shameful behavior.

        PC does get taken too far, but in this country it’s mostly because, if you give these people an inch, they’ll take the globe. What’s a country to do?! 🙂

      • Yeah, I kind of get that impression at times too. Once again, I suspect the the PC thing has moved on in the US, but I don’t know. It might possibly have turned into something even more sinister at times. In the UK it’s JUST PLAIN STUPID!!!! You, as a normal, intelligent person just couldn’t possibly believe, if you haven’t been there recently. Christmas is becoming the “Winter Holiday”, “Baa, Baa, Black Sheep” is banned and women can have their ID photo taken wearing a Burka. Oh, and kids can behave (or not) however they bloody well like and teachers, parents and everyone else can’t even be rude to them about it. What next?

    • PS: Be thankful that you are at least gorgeous enough to have attracted cat-calls (even if neither of us approves) 😉

      • First of all, I was never gorgeous. I’m laughing my butt off right now. And, more importantly, it is a past tense state of affairs. About a decade past tense….one. long. hard. decade. And I’m not kidding.

      • Well you’re gorgeous to me and I’ve never seen you – don’t put yourself down – beauty is indeed in the eye of beholder – so look more carefully 😉

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