Johnny

Johnny, like quite a few of the Brits here in the Canaries, is often a bit of a shit. He’s a very pleasant, affable, likeable sort of guy, but a shit nevertheless.

For those of you who don’t know, the way Spain organises apartment blocks and similar residential complexes is … well, a bit odd and might most kindly be explained as an accident waiting to happen. If you are the owner of an apartment, then you quite reasonably have a legal obligation to pay your dues, which may be just a moderately low community fee (like a management fee), or it may include all your services as well, like water and electricity.

That’s kind of where it all starts to go wrong though. Most people do honour their responsibilities, but because the Spanish courts are, even by their own admission, pretty pathetic when it comes to civil matters, a significant proportion of property owners of most nationalities take unfair advantage of the fact. Canarian law courts are probably at least as bad as any. So, seemingly, although you might get a debtor into court in a matter of months, if that person ignores the court ruling that tells him or her to pay up, then it can take years to finally get some forceful action, particularly if the person concerned is unscrupulous and knows the ropes.

Johnny is such a debtor. He’s one of those blokes who is always involved in some new money making scheme or other that rarely delivers on its early promise and it’s always something dubious too – not exactly illegal, but frequently extremely devious and almost always morally totally unjustifiable. Yet, contradictory though it may sound, he’s still a nice guy – a sort of lovable rogue would I suppose be the best way to describe him.

So, I guess it shouldn’t really surprise me that Johnny’s living rent free (as far as can be determined) in an apartment that doesn’t belong to him, but which no one, even the authorities, can trace the owner of. Naturally, none of the services are paid for on that apartment and he meanwhile draws rent for his own apartment which he almost never pays anything for either – even his mortgage is in serious arrears.

Still,  there is light at the end of the tunnel, since it was (as ever) the banks that caused much of the problem in the first place by lending vast sums of money to the likes of Johnny with barely a question asked. Now, in more fiscally conscious times, they are suddenly getting much more parsimonious and, strangely, they seem to be able to get things moving in the courts at what would pass for lightening speed over here.

It’s a funny old world, but it’s sunny and the local people here are pretty nice. On a more personal note, the women are mostly pretty nice too – that’s very nice and very pretty! Life’s a bitch, eh?

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2 Responses to “Johnny”

  1. Johnny is an enterprising guy.

    Glad the ladies are pretty. Hope they’re friendly too.

    • Yes. The trouble is that me and people like me are paying for him because all the suppliers still have to be paid. Still, he’ll get his comeuppance at some point 🙂

      The ladies? Mmmm … shhh 😉

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